About Mental Health
I was just a child when I asked my parents to see a specialist and start psychotherapy.
I was 11 years old, I didn’t feel comfortable with my peers, and I didn’t feel comfortable in general terms, thinking that there was something wrong with me.
I felt that it was not normal to be so attracted to knowledge at my age.
I was an introvert, loved to stay alone, spending time in nature, or with my books and pets, and occasionally with adults.
I still remember the feeling of disassociation I perceived at the time, probably due to our model of society, that didn’t look appealing to me.
The specialist “diagnosed” just a kind of misalignment between my physical age and my maturity (in other words, I was an adult in the body of a child), and told my parents that the philosophical questions I was posing to him would suggest that I should look more for a spiritual guide than a doctor.
Anyway I wanted to start a psychotherapy, that was useful to help me understand how to deal with my discomfort.
In my life, I never stopped working in order to know more about myself and deepen the way the mind works. I learned that there is no mind “separated” from the correspondent body, and my knowledge helped me to cope when anxiety and panic attacks started bothering me when I was still a teenager. I was studying piano at the time, and one of my teachers terrified me literally.
But this experience made me even more interested to understand how a "simple” fear related to a piano lesson could trigger something so irrational to give me symptoms like it was the end of the world.
I started playing with my breathing to manage my crisis, then I started deepening different kinds of approaches, and I learned how to manage my symptoms.
When I discovered to be a medium I was only 17 years old, and I thought immediately that I was crazy. Maybe schizophrenic or something like that. Fortunately I got in touch with a group of scientists (psychologists, psychiatrists, graphologists) and asked to be tested. So I was reassured because they stated that there was nothing wrong with my mental health.
In a few years anxiety and panic attacks were just a memory. Then, after an accident which caused a mild brain anoxia, I experienced symptoms of depression. I knew that it was something due to my suffering and fortunately my already recovering brain, but it was horrible anyway.
I feel blessed because all the work on myself I did unstoppably since my childhood helped me develop a constructive and solution-oriented attitude, so I am very resilient and never give up.
But it was a nightmare anyway. And years later, when CFS/ME showed up (due to a viral infection that hit my brain again), all th